Monday, January 22, 2007

Those Naughty Bits...

So I was at one of those artsy-fartsy functions a few weeks back. I enjoy them. The wine is always on the cheap side, the more-than-one-glass-and-here-comes-the-headache side. And the fingerfood is dry within the first hour. But that's fine. I don't need extra food and one glass of wine is more than enough.

At such functions, there are nice pottery and paintings to admire. I enjoy art. I love to stare at it and imagine what the artist might have been up to with that particular work, I love to wonder how close what I'm "getting" about any given piece is to what the artist intended. A lot of artists have really unusual minds, so it's fun to try and go where they went during the creative process.

Best of all, there are people to watch and interact with. Often, at art shows and benefit programs, the people are somewhat snooty. But they're usually intelligent, so I can bear their annoying snobbery.


At the function in question, I met up with this woman I'd met earlier at a private party. Fiftyish. Short, shiny gray hair; loose, flowy clothing and chunky jewelry. Attractive. Warm. She couldn't remember where we'd talked before. I brought her up to speed a little, said my name and that I wrote romance.

And that was when she said, "Oh, that's right. Soft porn."

It was one of those moments. You know, where I wanted to toss my glass of cheap wine right in her tastefully made-up face. I didn't. I let it go.

And later, I pondered...

Not only her ignorant snobbery, but also my furious reaction to her thoughtless remark. I think it's the word "porn" that got me. The whole "no socially redeeming qualities" issue.

Because. Yes. I do love a good sex scene. I love to read them. And I love to write them. I love erotica, which might be another word for porn. Not sure and I'm too lazy right now to check. I mean, I do have to get to work here in a minute...

But no kidding. Let me make this clear. As a rule, I like a nice, hot book. The hotter the better. True, I'm picky. Those sex scenes have to soar. But if they do, I'm right there on that one. Sighing. And panting.

I love Emma Holly. She never wrote a sex scene that didn't deliver. Her latest, Prince of Ice, opens with a sex scene--which is generally a no-no in romance. Because like, who wants to watch people we know nothing about--let along care for yet--do the hot, wild thing? But Emma pulled it off. And the couple in question weren't even the H and h. I adored Lisa Valdez's Passion. Omigod. So hot. Hot, hot, hot.

And come on, face it. One of the biggest bennies of falling in love is the sex. It just is.

So I guess what I need is a good comeback for these snooty sex-hating types. Any suggestions?


Susan Crosby said...

My comment? "Oh, you don't like sex? What a shame."

I did actually use that line once. I was so happy I remembered it at the right time in the right place.

Have fun with your new blog, Christine. I'll try to pop in now and then.

Susan Crosby
(gonna have to identify myself so as not to be confused with other Susan--M for Mallery :-)

Kim said...


I am guessing slapping her upside her head would be wrong?

I can agree with the word "Porn" having a somewhat negative connotation. That being said...
I sort of have a "naughty" streak, I probably would have come back with "Nope, only the hard core stuff, sister!"

*grin* (just kidding!)

Sex happens lady, get used to it.



Christine Rimmer said...

Hey, Susan. Thanks for coming by. And your name shows as Susan Crosby, so consider yourself identified!

"Oh, you don't like sex? What a shame."

Yeah! I like it. Said with real pity. Thanks!

And Kim, love the only the hard core stuff comeback. I should have said that!

Kate Carlisle said...

How about: "You don't get out much, do you?"

But like Kim said, a smack upside the head would be hard to resist! However, I'm sure you were gracious and self-effacing and went directly home to pray for her poor misguided soul. Am I right?? *g*

Christine Rimmer said...

Oh, Kate. You know me so well. Of course there was praying involved--not to mention chicken's blood, a voodoo doll and some stick pins.

Anonymous said...

I know the type well. I probably would say, "no, not soft porn, ROMANCE, there is a difference". You could add that you enjoy writing love scenes and that it's one of the perks of your job.
People like that think they can be rude to anyone that isn't exactly like themselves. They are small-minded people. katie

Maureen Child said...

Ah, Kim. You're my kind of people!!

Chris, I'm always tempted to say exactly what Susan C said! (Hi Susan!)...but what's the point, really?

If people like that don't get that a romance novel is about LOVE not just sex...they're living sad, sad lives...

Christine Rimmer said...

Hey, Katie--exactly. See, I knew that. I so mad. Hmm. Maybe I need a little anger management. But I have taken to heart the suggestions here and the next time something like this happens, I will be prepared.

Maureenie, oh yeah. Sad indeed!